‘Feeling’ is another of my F-words on this myelofibrosis journey

I keep an ongoing list of “the other F-words.” These are the ones we can say out loud, not under our breath when we’re angry or exasperated.

At the top of the list are “facts” and “fear,” which I wrote about in a two-part column last month. Second in the series was “fatigue” and “frustration.”

Today’s F-word is “feeling.”

The sun is out. It’s a spectacular September day. I’m trying to stay focused on work, but right outside my window are glorious blooms that haven’t yet turned from their brilliant summer vibrance to the inevitable muted shades of autumn.

I am feeling quite pleased with myself that I pulled my desk over and am tapping my keypad just inches from an open window to my neighbor’s gorgeous garden.

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Sept. 15, 2026 by Ruth Fein

Turning to the power of fact-based hope when things are out of our control

I am also feeling the power of a new year. Last week was my birthday, and I believe in celebrating these very special days.

I had a lovely afternoon and evening with friends. Then, with my traditional dark chocolate cupcake in hand, I walked to my favorite park to sit by a beloved historic sculpture named “Spirit of Life.” I love to spend a few minutes there, a place of quiet reflection with thoughts of happy times I might plan for the coming year.

A time for introspection

This week, as a Jew who celebrates the upcoming High Holy Days, I am keenly attuned to the powerful introspection of Rosh Hashanah, the beginning of a new year on the Jewish calendar.

But what does any of this have to do with myelofibrosis (MF)?

The “Spirit of Life” sculpture in Saratoga Springs, New York, is one of columnist Ruth Fein’s favorite spots for quiet reflection. (Photo by Ruth Fein)

No matter how well we might be feeling on any given day, week, or month, MF’s uncertainty is omnipresent. I’m fortunate that my combination drug therapy works to keep me feeling well most of the time, so I move through my days without dwelling on the chronic blood cancer that I live with. But this is not to be confused with not thinking about it.

Not a day goes by that I don’t consider how I am feeling. Is the nausea I’ve been pushing through related to MF or my medications? What about the multiple new spots on my face (whether we call them age spots, moles, or hyperpigmentation)? Are any pre-cancerous?

As we all should, I have a dermatology checkup annually. Blood cancers and some treatments, such as Jakafi (ruxolitinib), are associated with increased risk of skin cancer. And it seems like more dark spots appear in the mirror every time I take a close look. Should I make a follow-up appointment sooner?

I noticed two very deep, dark bruises on my hips this week, and I have no recollection of bumping into anything. Am I bruising more easily again because of MF?

While I enjoy an amazingly active, extraordinarily positive life, my concerns are not absent. The unpredictability of MF is real, and it’s a part of our lives, whether we let it into our consciousness often or not.

As another birthday was celebrated, and as Rosh Hashanah passes, I think about what the new year will bring. I fully expect to make it another amazing year around the sun, finding joy in the simplest things and making time to enjoy the wonderful family and friends in my life.

I also think about my health. I think about how good I’m feeling. I consider how this could change, so I celebrate every day as if it were my very best.

Whether you have more or fewer days of feeling asymptomatic, I encourage you to consider taking note of how you feel every day. If you feel better and can do more today than yesterday, celebrate that. If you can do even a little more this birthday than last, notice this and appreciate it.

If, on the other hand, your days are feeling harder, think about setting just a single goal for yourself (or a loved one with MF). Strive to reach that goal, no matter how small it may seem. Then celebrate. Do just one thing that will make you smile in recognition of an accomplishment.

And let me know how you’re doing, because I’ll be right here.

Note: Myelofibrosis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myelofibrosis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myelofibrosis.